various festive April fools adventures in “paradise” – Key West and Little Torch and Big Pine Keys, mostly

ship of fools

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cracked egg

Jerry Weinstock, M.D., Psychiatry (retired), an avid Key West area fisherman, wrote yesterday:

Sloan: I dreamt I could not get a certificate
signed to allow me to go fishing –on and on
all night –a real nightmare!—-Jerry

After mulling that over a while, and Jerry’s recent expressions of real concern about the Marine Sanctuary imposing its will on area fisherman and Florida Fish & Wildlife, I replied:

Maybe related to the Marine Sanctuary moving in on regulating fishing?

Maybe a collective sense of anxiety of many fisherman down here?

Maybe something around that is in the wind, which is not yet visible?

If I had such a dream, I might view it as a signal for me to back off and take a breather from soul-fishing, since I very seldom fish in the way I once fished in salt and fresh water.

Jerry replied:

all good interpretations—probably-accurate

Prompted by nap dreams yesterday, I wrote to Banks Prevatt, President of Dump the Pumps, Inc.,

pelican pooping

which opposes sewer grinder pumps being installed widespread in the lower Keys, and to their attorney Lee Rohe, both of whom (Banks and Lee) I consider friends:

Subject: Federal environmental litigation

Banks – Hi, Lee,

I just came out of a nap and a series of ever-intensifying dreams to the effect that an environmental lawsuit already should have been filed.

I felt the brunt of the dreams, as if I was responsible for no lawsuit being filed yet; as if I am the lawyer who should have filed it. I take responsibility for not having filed it when I lived on Little Torch Key, even though not once did the angels indicate any interest in my getting involved in the grinder pump war until some time after I had sold my place there and moved back down to Key West late last August.

I have no legal standing now, as a plaintiff landowner, to bring such a lawsuit pro se, and as a class representative, since I don’t live up there any more. Not having an active law license in Federal or State Court, I see no other way I could have brought such a lawsuit.

I told the angels before sitting down to write this to you that they sure picked a fine time to get onto me about this, and from all I see and hear, Dump the Pumps/its membership have not the will to bring the lawsuit.

The sense in the nap dreams was the lawsuit should be in Federal Court.

My sense remains that Big Pine Key should take the lead, because the horse has not gotten out of the barn yet there.

My sense remains that the only issues raised in the lawsuit should be environmental.

My sense remains there is a grave conflict of interest between Big Pine Key and the keys below, because (a) the keys below let the horse get out of the barn and long gone, and (b) Big Pine Key has stronger Federal environmental arguments than the keys below Big Pine have.

Maybe Lee Rohe, since he lives on Big Pine, has standing to be the plaintiff and also the plaintiff’s lawyer on behalf of the island, seeking only to protect Big Pine environmentally under Federal environmental laws and under any ancillary/pendant Florida environmental laws.

To do that, I imagine Lee would have to resign as Dump the Pumps’ lawyer, because of the obvious conflicts of interest such litigation would present if Lee remained as Dump the Pumps’ lawyer. It would help if Dump the Pumps gave Lee written permission to proceed in that way, otherwise, Lee might be disqualified for having a conflict of interest between Dump the Pumps and the Big Pine protection litigation.

Perhaps there is provision in Federal Law for recovery of an attorney fee by a successful plaintiff in such as case. In that way, Lee might have a chance of being compensated for doing a lot of rough legal work in likely a long, protracted litigation, perhaps going all the way to the US 11th Circuit Court of Appeals, and perhaps even to the US Supreme Court.

A lawsuit Lee probably is far more able to prosecute than I would have been, given how long I have been away from the practice of law. Lee once told me that he had defended class action lawsuits for the State of Florida when he worked in the Florida Attorney General’s Office, or in some state office.

If such a lawsuit is filed, it is possible that people living on keys below Big Pine could petition the Federal Court to be allowed to intervene as interested party plaintiffs, but they would have to have their own lawyer, I think. They could argue for environmental protection of their keys under any applicable Federal environmental laws, if such exist, and, if so, under any ancillary/pendant Florida environmental laws.

I imagine a US District Judge can issue an Injunction if he/she is convinced US Environmental Law is being, or will be, trampled. State agencies, such as Florida Department of Environmental Protection, Monroe County and Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority would be the defendants in such a lawsuit.

A fine kettle of fish in one basket that would be. The county commissioners would be thrilled to be subpoenaed to depositions, and to court hearings at the Court’s convenience. And with the media publicity. And with the delay an Injunction would cause. Thrilled.

I told the Monroe County Commission a few times that having a US District Judge take over a county issue is like having 100 mothers-in-law come to visit and they never leave.

I often told the Key West City Commission the same thing, re their city getting taken over by the same US District Court which rendered the Pottinger decision in Miami, which the ACLU filed to stop that city from torturing its homeless people. Pottinger caused the Key West City Commission to decide to build the KOTS homeless shelter. Pottinger drives the City Commission to continue to have a homeless shelter. The City Commission fears a US District Judge taking over all of Key West’s homeless issues perhaps forever.


When I lived on Little Torch Key, I attracted a pod of Sloan-haters on‘s popular bitch and praise Coconut Telegraph blog. They nick-named me the FOLT (Fool on Little Torch).

April fool

They got the name right. Anyone would have to be a fool to do what I do, be jerked around by angels like I am, and tell about it. Fortunately, the entire Florida Keys are an insane asylum; otherwise, I’d be locked up somewhere and the key thrown away. My email to Banks and Lee, however, was not an April Fool’s Eve joke. Lee loves Big Pine. He has the heart connection that crusade needs, and he has the needed legal experience.

U.S. Marine Vietnam vet John Donnelly, of Key Largo,

John Donnelly

sent a cheery update on the Albuquerque, New Mexico police gunning down a homeless man.

In Albuquerque, protesters clash with police

By Shawn Nottingham and Ashley Fantz, CNN
updated 2:04 PM EDT, Mon March 31, 2014
Watch this video

Outrage over fatal shootings by police

  • Protesters enraged by what they call police brutality, KOAT reports
  • U.S. Justice Department, FBI are probing police-involved shooting earlier in March
(CNN) — Several hundred demonstrators clashed with officers in riot gear in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Sunday in a protest that raged for more than 12 hours, ending around midnight, CNN affiliate KOAT reported. The protesters were enraged by what they called police brutality in the March 16 shooting of James M. Boyd. KOAT reported that Boyd was homeless.
The U.S. Justice Department has opened a criminal investigation into the shooting, as have the FBI and the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of New Mexico, the Justice Department said in a release.
Meanwhile, arrests were made related to the protest, KOAT said.
Mayor Richard Berry told the station that an officer was spat on and hit with a rock and another officer was trapped in a patrol car.
The mayor praised the police department for how it handled the protest, saying officers did an “exceptional job of de-escalating situations when we have protesters who obviously” want to “escalate the situation.”
“We want people to be able to protest,” Berry added. But he said the demonstration was plagued by a “smaller group of individuals whose main goal” was to “put the public and themselves in danger.”
According to KOAT, protesters began gathering at about noon Sunday, and made their way to the city’s Civic Plaza, the University of New Mexico and the Albuquerque Police Department.
The University of New Mexico tweeted about the protest: “Reports from the scene have informed us that tear gas has been deployed, arrests are being made, again please avoid the Johnson Field area.”

When I saw Arnaud and Naja Girard night before last, they said the Florida Department of Law Enforcement is still saying they are still investigating the death of suspected homeless man Charles Eimers

Charles Eimers

on South Beach in Key West last Thanksgiving Day. He was not homeless, as if that should matter. Again, you can get the first whiff of a number of Key West the Newspaper articles (, by opening the link below. Be sure to watch the video, which the KWPD did not know existed when it put out its spun version of how it had gone down on that Happy Thanksgiving Day. Maybe someone who knows someone at CNN should send the link there.


NajaArnaud Girard

While paying for my dinner the other night at Jack Flats sports bar on Duval Street,

Jack Flats 2

I told Matt, the bartender waiting on me, that I was going out on Duval Street to do market research for the upcoming noise ordinance item on tonight’s City Commission agenda. Matt asked if I had my noise meter with me? I said my ears work really good. Matt said I know too loud noise when I hear it? Yep.

It occurred to me last night, during a respite between dreams about Jimmy Weekly and a bubba Conch Don and other weird dream casseroles, that perhaps Jimmy

Jimmy Weekley 2

should be appointed Noise Czar, since he has been the visible moving force behind the new noise ordinance; no doubt the Conch Don in the dream represented the run silent, run deep moving force.

As Noise Czar, Jimmy walks up and down lower Duval Street randomly, and whenever he hears what he knows is too loud noise coming out of an establishment, or from a vehicle, or from a street musician, by too loud, I mean it makes Jimmy flinch and want to flee, he whips out his stun gun and zaps the noise terrorist then and there. Then, he calls Police Chief Donnie Lee and has him dispatch backup to haul off any now unmanned accomplice vehicle and noise maker, and close down any accomplice establishment until its opening time the next day. The stunned noise terrorist is allowed to revive and get up and leave.

No, that is not an April Fool’s Day suggestion, either. It is a for real suggestion.

The Key West Citizen provides the April Fool’s Day howler today. I supplied the combatants’ mug shots.

Mayor CatesTony Yaniz 2

Craig Cates, left, Tony Yaniz, right

Tuesday, April 1, 2014 

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Mayor, Yaniz square off outside Old City Hall
BY PEDRO T. DAUG Citizen Staff
Key West Mayor Craig “The Mechanic” Cates and his arch rival City Commissioner Tony “Fat” Yaniz left the dais during a special meeting Monday night to settle their long-standing junior high school brand of dislike with their fists.

The streetside bout, which lasted under three minutes, began with Yaniz taking a cheap shot while Cates was taking off his suit jacket.

Then, Yaniz made a leg sweep that dropped Cates like a falling coconut, according to an iPhone video made by city staffers.

Yaniz then punched Cates’ dislocated knee.

“Say ‘uncle,'” Yaniz screamed into the mayor’s face. “Say, ‘Carol Anne, don’t go into the light!!'”

Cates refused to say anything Yaniz tried to make him say.

Police Chief Donie Lee intervened and lifted Yaniz off of the mayor.

“Stay down,” Lee said to Cates.

“Stop this fight and you’ll be directing traffic on North Roosevelt and Kennedy for the rest of your life,” Cates told Lee.

“Can you go on?” Lee asked the mayor.

“Yes,” Cates replied, his left eye sealed shut by Yaniz’s opening sucker punch.

“Cut me, Chief. Cut me now. Cheryl!!!! Cheryl, where are you!!”

Lee complied, slicing the mayor’s eye with a tool from his Leatherman.

The mayor’s wife cried out, “Craig! Craig!”

From the top of the stairs of Old City Hall, City Manager Bob Vitas called out to the mayor, “Use the crane!”

Cates struggled to get onto his feet. Yaniz danced around, “You want some more? You want more of this?”

From out of the shadows, two-time mayoral candidate Margaret Romero emerged to cheer on Yaniz.

“Finish him!” Romero called out, giving the thumb’s down signal. “Finish him now!

Somewhere, a rooster crowed.

Cates went into the difficult and rarely used “crane” kick he learned from repeated viewings of “The Karate Kid” saga.

“Except for the Hilary Swank won. Good lord that was a travesty,” the mayor said later.

Commissioners watched silently, deciding to postpone voting on which fighter to support. Mark Rossi was absent.

The mayor charged Yaniz and with grace and power executed the crane kick into his opponent’s face, like a young Ralph Macchio, witnesses said.

Yaniz fell.

“I got nothin’,” Yaniz muttered from the pavement.

Cheryl Cates emerged like a young Elisabeth Shue and slung her husband’s arm over her shoulder.

As supporters crowded Cates, a recovered Yaniz picked his way through the small crowd to congratulate the mayor for the win.

“You did it! You manned up!” Yaniz told his former rival, hoisting the battered mayor onto his shoulders and carrying him back into Old City Hall.

Staff writer Timothy O’Leary contributed to this report.


Long-time Birmingham, Alabama amiga Freeda continued our recent Facebook banter about my stroll for Mayor of Key Far West of Weird. So as to put that in context, the start of the banter, reported in yesterday’s old folk’ tale, also is included below:

Sloan and Mike 2

“Key West sunrises and other ups and some downs – situation normal” –

today at

photo by Mike Mongo, left, the eye-wear style his contribution, too

Like ·  · Stop Notifications · Share · Edit · Promote · March 30

  • Todd GermanBob Consroe and 2 others like this.
  • Freeda Elliott-Wainwright The next Mayor of Key West!!!!!!
  • Sloan Bashinsky Any chance, Freeda, you are unduly biased due to having worked for my father’s company for most of your adult life, then you went off late in life and got yourself hitched up with one of his other old valued employees who walked right in the rain pretty good, I heard tell from Herman The Faulk,aka Chemical Man thanks to all those doctors pumping him full of pharmacy shelf stuff made in artificial medicine plants not particularly related to plants what grow in the ground. Maybe some day they make a movie about Herman living longer than all of us because he was pickled before his time. If I get elected, you folks from my way back when will get invites to the coronation, probably won’t be at any place a potato chip route salesman or saleslady would not just naturally want to kick back in. A place I have in mind serves Pabst Blue Ribbon beer; I bet there ain’t too many folks down here in Key Weird who drank much of that in their formative years. I remember when I could get a case, 24 cans, for $5. Or maybe it was $4. Back before I was legal to buy it; a place over in Crestwood sold it to us out the back door. I believe the statute of limitation probably ran on that by now. LIke anyone down here in this booze heaven would worry about it. Ya’ll come!
  • Freeda Elliott-Wainwright Late in Life? What are you talking about? We are young’uns, as we say in Bama!!! What plants? We don’t smoke Marijo-wanna; just high on life…Good luck on winning the Mayor’s race and keep us posted on the returns..Behave yourself.. Ray said he will be your shouffer when elected and I’ll be you executive assistant ,as long as you supply room, board and medications…hahahaha PS you can keep your Pabst Blue Ribbon and Falstaff too………lol
  • Sloan Bashinsky Well, they provide other thirst quencher crazy maker beverages, it was going to be byo in any event, since I can’t imbibe the sauce no more, no point in buying it for those who still can do. I never did care for Falstaff, and grew out of liking most American popular beers, which, pardon my French, came to taste like Mule Piss to me. Perhaps, though, I could arrange to get a keg of Moose Drool UPS’d down from Somewhere, Montana, where that fine beer is brewed. Maybe my old buddies from Out in the Sticks, Alabama, Curtis and Leroy, would like to made guest appearances with their .30-.30s and harmonicas, maybe Leroy (right) will bring his fiddle, too. After the big bash, we can all meander out to Cow Key and spend the night at KOTS (the city’s free overnight homeless shelter). The next morning, we start making plans.

    Sloan Bashinsky's photo.



independent campaign ad run in Key West the Newspaper by amiga Sandy downs of Cudjoe Key in 2009, I had nothing to do with it but laugh my ass off when I first saw it in the blue paper



Political advertisement paid for and approved by Sloan Bashinsky, for Mayor of Key West

fool dolphin

it was around April 1 of 2006 that I was moving toward buying the trailer and once acre of land I had rented on Little Torch Key, which turned out to be a really fool thing to do, given how much money I ended up losing when I sold it at the end of last August (2013), the FOLT indeed

About Sloan

That's what this website is about, also and If you can't get a publisher to take on your wacky musing, you do it yourself.
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