some birds and the bees and related Sunday school stories – Florida Keys and beyond
Sunday, February 3rd, 2013
From my oldest first Bashinsky cousin Leo:
I wrote to someone down here about a week or so ago, that mostly the cause of men needing to take viagra and testosterone is not Low T, but Low E (feminine), and lack of real intimacy between a man and his current lady.Sancho replied:
You’re funny still… and I agree with you, unconditional love and surrender is the greatest of all aphrodisiacs! But only us old folks know that… if we only knew that back when we were new.
==============================
From a Lower Keys Republican snowbird amigo:
A homeless man suffered a serious heart attack while panhandling that he would work for food. A passerby called 911.
The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital .
A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen.
She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. “Do you have health insurance?” she asked.
He replied in a raspy voice, “No health insurance.”
The nun asked, “Do you have money in the bank?”
He replied, “No money in the bank.”
“Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?” asked the irritated nun.
He said, “I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun.”
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, “Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.”
The patient replied, “Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law.”
key deer at play
Adam and Eve said, ‘Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.’
And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.’
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal and God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, ‘Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.’
And God said, ‘I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.’
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, ‘Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.’
And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.’
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased..
And Dog was happy.
And Cat . . .
didn’t give a shit one way or the other.
==============================
My main squeeze, Miss Kitty, did back flips over that true story.
Then, her back-up, the feral Midnight, meowed for more.
Me, I just don’t think I’ll ever crawl out from under
Although, it probably ain’t gonna be easy to forget this gal, either.
Nor this one.
What you wanna bet this post gets through the School District’s server? Believe it or not, a dream featuring Superintendent of Schools Mark Porter, who was said to be really hung, and heaps of teenage-ish boys and girls in the buff going at it in different ways, straight and gay, was the lead into later dreams telling me to have a funnish playful fling with this primal subject.
Sloan Bashinsky