(Pied Piper)
I drove up to Big Pine Key yesterday and had a wonderful lunch at Coco’s Kitchen, with Rose and her mom and lots of other people, at a price so shamefully low that I felt guilty eating it.
Waiting for my food, I read the No Name Key piece in the News-Barometer. Then I read it again. And then again. I had to confess to myself that I didn’t really understand all of it, so I paid Rose and went by the News-Barometer and asked its Editor, Steve Estes, to try to explain it to me. Then I went off and looked somebody else up and got that person to try to explain it to me.
Now I’m going to try to explain what I think I know about what’s going on at No Name Key, and how all of that might affect Big Pine Key next door, and Monroe County and its taxpayers. I’m going to try to do it in plain English, leaving out all of the agencies and formulas that go by capital letters. I ask my local expert advisers from yesterday to let me know if I messed up the explanation too bad or left something important out.
The entire cost of running power and water out to No Name Key, and any cost of infrastructure mitigation, and any costs of litigation incurred by Keys Energy or the Aqueduct Authority, will have to be paid by the property owners who want power and water run out there. They will have to pay this money out of their own pockets. They will have to pay it up front. They will not be able to get a loan from any institution that has federal connections. Probably that excludes every bank and mortgage lending institution in the Keys, or anywhere.
It is said that a No Name Key resident named Robert Reynolds, purportedly very wealthy, has promised No Name Key residents that he will lend them the money they need to pay for their share of the costs of running power and water out to No Name Key. I imagine Robert the Good will require them to execute mortgages on their homes, to secure what he loans to them. I imagine a time might come when Robert the Good demands repayment and, if it is not forthcoming, he forecloses and ends up owning a subdivision or two or three on No Name Key. I see in my mind’s eye the Pied Piper leading lemmings, like lambs to slaughter, over the edge of a tall cliff, but, like any smart wolf in sheep’s clothing, he doesn’t go over the cliff with them.
Some homes on No Name Key are not up to the current electrical code. They will have to be upgraded to connect to power Keys Energy runs out there. The upgrade cannot be avoided. The electrical code requires it. I would be dangerous not to enforce the code. These homes could catch on fire and burn down. People could be killed. The county could be sued for not enforcing the code. The taxpayers would pay the lawyer fees and damages. Robert the Good would not reach into his pocket and reimburse the tax payers. He’s a high-leverage fellow, I have heard. Meaning, he likes to buy real low and sell real high, and he likes to use other people’s money, mostly, to pull it off.
Galleon Bay owns 13 lots on No Name Key, and has been lying in wait, after prevailing in a court case, to cash in on damages it suffered when it was not allowed to develop the lots it had purchased on No Name Key. It is expected that, if power and water are run out to No Name Key, Galleon Bay will try to get as many building permits as possible. 7 permits are available for No Name Key under the existing formula and restrictions that apply to the No Name Key and Big Pine Key federal wildlife sanctuary. Mitigation on No Name Key is far more “expensive” than mitigation onBig Pine Key, because No Name Key is far more environmentally sensitive. If Galleon Bay were to get 7 permits for No Name Key, the 129 outstanding building permits tentatively issued on Big Pine Key would be wiped out. (Affordable housing permits on Big Pine Key would not be affected). No more regular houses could be built on Big Pine Key under the current formula and restrictions that apply to the sanctuary.
Mitigation on Big Pine Key has not been getting paid by the people who get building permits for Big Pine Key. The county has been giving its own land on Big Pine Key to mitigate the construction of homes on the Big Pine Key part of the sanctuary. The Big Pine mitigation is calculated under a complex formula I myself, who have two law degrees, may never be able to figure out. The purpose of the mitigation is to replenish the sanctuary wildlife and flora habitat destroyed by a house being built. The formula requires 3 lots in mitigation for 1 lot where construction of a home is allowed. If a permit holder had to purchase 3 mitigation lots on Big Pine Key at fair market value, to put into the sanctuary, the price would be about $90,000 per lot. Meaning, the taxpayers of this county are paying about $270,000 per new house permit issued on Big Pine Key. (Again, affordable housing permits are not part of this.)
Two, perhaps three, forms of endangered wildlife on No Name Key have not yet been given protected status. A determination will have to be made about that. A determination made by the United States Department of the Interior, under which the United States Fish & Wildlife Service operates. Fish & Wildlife looks after the federal wildlife sanctuary that encompasses both Big Pine Key and No Name Key. It might take a good while for a determination to be made. If it is determined that these other species are entitled to protection, that will affect putting No Name Key on the grid. It may prevent it even happening. Certainly, it will increase mitigation requirements.
Steve Estes said a Realtor informed him that she had been involved in the sale of 3 homes on No Name Key. Contrary to popular thought, those homes sold at a premium to homes not on No Name Key, because the buyers wanted to live off the grid and that was the only place they could do it. They wanted to live in nature and the lower utility bills would help them pay for the home. If homes on No Name Key sell at a premium, then running power and water out there will reduce the value of those homes down to what homes on nearby Keys go for.
Although it is no secret I side with the people on No Name Key, who want it to remain off the grid, I took that hat off to write today’s post. I put on the hat I wore when I was a Ralph Nader-type lawyer looking out for homebuyers and sellers, who were being ripped off without even knowing they were being ripped off. I knew what was up. I was not very popular in Realtor circles, although I had Realtor friends who cheered me on, because they saw the same problems I saw.
Robert the Good and two or three others on No Name Key are trying to get the rest of the homeowners out there to do their bidding. I’ve tried today to tell the rest of the No Name Key homeowners, and the residents of Big Pine Key, the Monroe County Commission, and the taxpayers of Monroe County how it looks to me. I’m telling them all, “I told you so,” in advance.
Sloan Bashinsky