For visitors to this website not yet familiar with the Keys, they are insanity’s, er, sanity’s last stand in America, maybe in the world — maybe even in the Universe! You’ll have to come here, though, to understand that and maybe start feeling better about yourself, but perhaps reading some of the musings on who knows what posted nearly daily to the “Today’s Flakey Drivel” menu page at the right will help get your feet a little wet.
When I started up this website in 2007 with the indispensable help of the notorious “Capt. Conch” of bigpinekey.com, I perhaps didn’t realize why. But life zigged and zagged along, and, well, as I said, you can get a glimpse of some of that in my grumblings and horsings around on just about any and everything in the Archives. Take plenty of food and water; it will take you while to read it all. Or, to get a sneak preview, open and read some or all of the other menu pages. Then call the folks with the funny looking coats and butterfly nets, to come get you for reading it!
You may now be starting to see what folks around these parts have come to appreciate, some more kindly than others, that there’s just no telling what might up and jump out of my pen, er, laptop. Just no telling. Meaning, I do not view life, running for public office, or whatever heaven gives me to do as a beauty or popularity contest. I sometimes go way out of my way to make people unhappy with me. I sometimes don’t get invited out much for social events. I sometimes write about people who invite me out. I often write about elected officials, politicians, jounalists and who and whatever else crosses my path. I claim angels tell me in dreams what to write about, or else. Most people don’t seem to believe me. They would if they lived in my skin, but since they don’t, I suppose they should be darn glad.
Meanwhile, anyone still gawking at the pretty nature pictures way up above might wish to keep ever in mind that nothing in the Keys is entirely what it appears to be. Our coastal waters are often contaminated with human fecal matter. Our only living reef in the continental United States is dying. The cost of living here is beyond belief. Our real estate market is plummeting like a stone. Our county government is a candidate for bankruptcy court or the Saturday morning cartoons. We have a staphylococcus pandemic, MRSA it’s generally called. (See “MRSA cure” page in the menu for treatment method.) We have more booze and narcotic consumption, and more churches, and more homeless people per capita, not necessarily related, than any place you are ever likely to find. Despite mucho spraying, we usually have a healthy popoulation of starving mosquitoes during the warm months. As I recall, that’s also when hurricanes sometimes come calling. Yet we call it Paradise.
Which all brings me to maybe reason #2 for this website. It’s turning out to be some sort of off-beat newspaper or book, or, as some say, rumor mill or daily news from the state mental, none of which is copyrighted, all of which is freely usable by anyone who reads it – but it is asked that it be used in context, which I realize may or may not happen; as should anyone who uses it out of context have realized by now that if I learn of it they just might find themselves keel-hauled in the next Today’s FlaKey Drivel missive. Because I’m running again for Mayor of Key West, most of what I write currently is devoted to that, for now. That, and promoting Key West as the weird capitol of the world, where people accused of being weirdos some place else can come mingle with real weirdos. Perhaps the best way to get your feet wet in that incredible departure from unreality is to check out the “Campaign Billboard–Ripley’s Believe It or Not version” and “Campaign Billboard–Aphrodite version” pages in the menu of this here website. After gandering which, if you still feel adventuresome, you might wish to check out goodmorningkeywest.com, weblink provided down below.
Cheers!
Sloan for mayor, Key West
Political advertisement, approved and paid for by Sloan Bashinsky
Contact me at keysmyhome@hotmail.com
http://GoodMorningKeyWest.com
(sister website)